Blessings 365: Day 130: Jesus Calling

Before we moved to Uganda I gave away or sold most of my things, including my books.  Then I got here and realized there were some of my books that I really missed and wanted to re-read.  Not many.  But a few. 


One of them was Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson.  I got it in a box from my mom recently and began reading it last week (May 8, to be exact).  


I think it's different reading parenting books when you are the parent of adult children (as well as younger children).  Because I'm reading this book and all the while I'm feeling like a failure with Katelyn and Josh because I didn't do "this" or "that" with them....or I could of done more of "blah blah."  After reading the first chapter I had a very heavy feeling (sadness) in my heart for most of the day.


On May 9th I wasn't even sure I wanted to read the book anymore.  I picked up my Bible and my copy of Jesus Calling to have my time with Jesus....thinking that after that I would just be done reading for the day.


This is what I read in Jesus Calling on May 9:


"Don't be so hard on yourself.  I can bring good even out of your mistakes.  Your finite mind tends to look backward, longing to undo decisions you have come to regret.  This is a waste of time and energy, leading only to frustration.  Instead of floundering in the past, release your mistakes to Me.  Look to Me in trust, anticipating that my infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design.


Because you are human, you will continue to make mistakes.  Thinking you should live an error-free life is symptomatic of pride.  Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy for other people in their weaknesses.  Best of all, failure highlights your dependence on Me.  I am able to bring beauty out of the morass of your mistakes.  Trust Me and watch to see what I will do.

Romans 8:28, Micah 7:7"

That was just what I needed to be reminded of.  YES, I made mistakes with Katelyn and Josh.  YES, I will continue to make mistakes with all my children.  But instead of floundering in the past (which totally affects my present and future!), I will CHOOSE to release those mistakes to Jesus and watch Him make something beautiful by combining my good and bad choices into a lovely design!  I am completely dependent on Him!

And, yes, I will continue to read Mission of Motherhood WITHOUT the guilt!!  Also, if you haven't read Jesus Calling, I highly recommend it, too!!