Blessings 365: Day 159: Who I am in Jesus

It's been a hard year and a half since moving to Uganda.  It's been good....but it's been hard.  Satan doesn't want us here and he's "upped" his attacks since we left the USA.


I guess I've probably always struggled with truly understanding who I am in Jesus.  Grace.  the Gospel and how it affects me every day.  unconditional, never-changing, no-matter-what-I-do kind of love.  I don't have to be good enough....I can't be good enough.  That kind of stuff.

But it's been especially hard since moving to Uganda.

Feelings of doubt.  Not measuring up.  Not being a good enough wife, mother, friend, etc.  Failure.  Worry about the damage I'm doing to my kids in America.

Satan's hit me hard.

While we were living in Kampala I confided in my sweet wonderful friend in Arkansas...shared with her my feelings of inadequacy...and she said, "Kelly, you stop right now and go listen to this song..."  

so I did

And I cried the whole way through it.  Jesus was speaking directly to me through this video.  Reminding me that I am His beloved.  Regardless of how Satan tried to trick me.  He loved me.  period.  That's all that matters!

But you know Satan.  He doesn't just give up that easily.  Especially when he sees a weakness.  And he's been hitting again lately.

As I talked with a friend here in Gulu about being a wife and mom....and all the insecurities that come along with that (am I doing enough, being good enough, etc)....she reminded me of the importance of fulfilling the role that Jesus has called me to....and to leave the rest to Him.  Thanks, I needed that!  I CAN'T be everything.  I CAN'T be good enough.  But Jesus IN ME is enough!!  Jesus flowing through me is the best thing I can give my family.

THEN I read this amazing blog post about counteracting insecurity by focusing on God.  Get my thoughts off myself and onto Him!  JUST what I needed....

Why You Can't Afford to be an Insecure Mom

I took the time to put some of her suggestions into practice.  I thought through truthful responses to the lies Satan accuses me with.  And it worked.  As I questioned my ability in an area of motherhood I STOPPED and truth talked.  I intentionally focused my thoughts on God and His ability.  On Jesus and what He has done for me and what He's doing in me and through me.  And Satan stopped whispering.  Stopped accusing.  He was stopped by God.  hallelujah!!

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

**edited to add:  Thanks to Sarah here in Gulu for passing along this article to me...Enough:  Or Why We Should All Be Laughing Hysterically in the Magazine Aisle.**  excellent article!!